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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in rubymoon2507's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, December 2nd, 2006
9:19 pm
i'm at home by myself because kev has taken the girls to port douglas and mum has gone with aunty ruth to noosa. jessie rae was not invited on either of these trips. mark is at work so i'm at home. alone. bored. was thinking of going down to watch some friends dvds. was thinking of trying to lose some weight. get a bit fitter. fit into my clothes better. i think i might. its something i have control about.

garrgh.. so bored. bit sleepy. maybe ruby will play with me. mum's coming home on tuesday. i miss her. life is boring without her. the girls don't come home until saturday. so i get 4 nights of mum to myself. we'll probably just watch lifestyle channel.


ohhh... lifestyle channel.. wonder what is on...
Sunday, November 12th, 2006
8:53 pm
I feel really shit about Belinda Emmett. Really shit. It's so stupid. I don't know her. I don't know Rove. it's just dumb. But I keep on thinking about how they are just real people. And you could see how much they loved eachother. i feel so sad that rove is going to climb his way into an empty bed tonight after spending so many years crawling in to bed with her and waking up with her beside him. its so shit that some people have bad relationships with awful people and some people never find the person that they love enough that they want to commit themselves for the rest of their lives. but these two did. and now she's gone. and i think its tragic. and he was so funny and full of life. and his heart is now broken.

when things like this happen i feel selfish. i think about all those times when i think that life sucks and 'whats the point?'. but things like this make me realise that thats just selfish. life is a gift that can be taken away as quick as it was given.

also, i feel selfish because i get in bad moods. i get sulky and cranky and shitty and whinge about how bad i have it. but here we have these two people who had every reason to be in shit moods and hate the world. but they did the opposite.

it makes you think 'stop whinging. things aren't so bad.'

cancer is horrible. it slowly sucks away the life from people until they are hanging on to their lives by a thread. and what is awful about it is that a person can hang on by that thread for a long time. a long time. just by a thread. sick and in pain and frail. and the awful son of a bitch disease doesn't actually forcibly kill the person but actively forces the person to make a concious decision to let go and die.

and for the people around, they have to watch the life being drawn away. and seeing the person move further and further from them. and to make matter worse, they have to tell that person to let go. they have to tell that person to let go and leave them forever because they don't want to see them have to battle with the sheer agony of staying alive.
they have to tell them its okay to go but what they really want to scream is 'please don't leave me'.

no one should have to do that. and i don't know the emmetts or rove. but i have had to stand beside someone and tell them that it is okay to let go because the personal pain of seeing them in agony was far too great. and no one should have to do it. and my heart breaks for anyone who does. even famous people.
Monday, October 30th, 2006
10:29 am
watching the arias last night, it was wholeheartedly established that i cannot sing 'joker and the thief' by wolfmother. whenever i try to sing it, i either come out with 'joker and the thieth' or joker and the fief'. damn! the worst thing of all is that i have that song stuck in my head so whenever i sing it to myself it is just wrong. garrrr... tis giving me the shits.

i realised the other day that my first exam is on friday, not wednesday, so there's a positive. i'm glad i figured that out or i would have completely rocked up on the wrong day. for constitutional law, i really need this textbook that was a prescribed textbook for the unit but i never got it at the start of the year. as all uni students know, you don't get all the textbooks, you just see how long you can last without them. sometimes you can just get by borrowing it from the library. however, i've now established that i really need it. its like $120 and there are no copies available at the library. i've put a hold on the first available copy of 14 copies so i just hope that someone returns their copy soon. you get fined like $4 a day if you keep out a book that is on hold past the due date. so fingers crossed.

i love the new john mayer song. it make me think about my life and what i want to do with it. i think that it is really inspiring and so true.

x

"Waiting On The World To Change"

Me and all my friends
We're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and
There's no way we ever could

Now we see everything that's going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it

So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's hard to beat the system
When we're standing at a distance
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change

Now if we had the power
To bring our neighbors home from war
They would have never missed a Christmas
No more ribbons on their door
And when you trust your television
What you get is what you got
Cause when they own the information, oh
They can bend it all they want

That's why we're waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's not that we don't care,
We just know that the fight ain't fair
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

And we're still waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting waiting on the world to change
One day our generation
Is gonna rule the population
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change
Tuesday, October 24th, 2006
12:32 am
the thing for the smith family was really good. i'm writing because i should be off studying but there is so much to do that i can barely face the day. i might go down and grab some breaky and then get stuck into it. netball tonight. should be good. we have eight players. mark isn't playing because he has been on crutches since last wednesday and, although he worked on sunday, netball may make him reinjure it. and amy isn't playing, we assume, because she never bothered to say that she was or wasn't last week and then just didn't rock up. it's really not that hard.

mum's doing canteen duty at elle's school today. i like spending days off with her. but, i'd rather be hear than doing canteen duty. yuck. she offered that i could come and help her. i think not.

myspace is shitting me. not MY space but the website in general. i get so much spam mail that it shits me to bits. and then there are all those chain letters that you need to pass on or you will die. i never pass them on. i have no idea how i am still alive. but it is a good way to catch up with all your friends and keep up with what they are doing. i don't understand though why the clonard page is clonNard and not just clonard. shits me. but i don't know how to change it...







http://www.myspace.com/jessicaraeb
Sunday, October 22nd, 2006
3:05 pm

in addition to my somewhat mawkish post, i have movements and less maudlin reports. i’m going to the 'stand up for the smith family' event with dad tonight which I am so looking forward to. i leave in an hour. its on at the athanaeum (sp?) theatre in collins street. some awesome star are offering their presence for charity- including dave hughes, hamish and andy, rove and pete helliar. should be pretty good. tickets were only $40, which i don't consider to be too bad. an extravagance for me but i haven't been out for a while.


i have students all week which i am dreading. i love my students but they take a lot out of me and having heaps is really tiring. additionally, i have so much uni study to do that it is unbearable. however, for my year twelves, this is their last week so next week and beyond will be very low key. yay! and i just have to think of the money. $20 and twelve students in 4 days is $240. not too bad i think.

i have applied for  heaps of jobs over the summer.  once my students are finished, this results in no more money. i have applied for a job at gordon tafe in student enrolments. its just from 13th November until the start of march next year which suits me perfectly. it pays over $22 an hour and could be anywhere up to 38 hours a week. i get 3 week off over christmas and the start of jan which is fab as well.  there are three of these positions up for grabs and i am praying to the lord that i get one of them.

otherwise, i've been offered a position at geelong and bellarine books over the summer and have applied for some other ones as well. fingers cross!

4:40 am
my year 12's are all getting ready for their exams at the moment. its crazy. its only been two years since i finished year twelve but in someways it seems like an eternity. its funny how you learn stuff about yourself as time goes by. i'm a lot different than i was back then. i try to think of the things that have changed me but then it seems pointless. i guess at the time i think my friends and i kinda all thought we were invincible in a way. we had this huge open highway ahead of us. everything was fresh, everything was new. we had a plethora of opportunities awaiting us with time the only dictator of our journey. my world back then was muck up day, grad, uni placements, exams and enter scores. now, all that that took so long to work for a deliver, that which was the talk around the table at lunchtimes day after day and that which we thought about before we went to sleep and from the moment we got up, now? now, no one gives a shit. not even us.

i try to tell my year twelves this. they need to work hard to get their enter scores and uni placements, sure, but this is not the be all and end all. i think that back then, we thought that we were working toward our destination, that somehow we thought we were finally finished. we didn't realise that graduation marked the beginning not the end.

now i am different. i think that in many ways i am on a path of self-realisation rather than maths examinations. that makes me sound like a wanker but, hey, my lj so i can sound like a wanker if i want! its kinda fun to think that one day i am going to be 30, and 40 and 50. its interesting to think about where i will be and what i am doing. life is a journey and brick by brick i am creating my own "yellow brick road" of life. i think its awesome that i get to shape my own future. but its also kinda overwhelming.



Current Mood: rejuvenated
Monday, May 15th, 2006
10:47 am
Protected
Two Names You Go By
1. jess
2. jessie

Two Parts of Your Heritage
1. english
2. aboriginal

Two things that scare you
1. the dark
2. saw

Two of Your Everyday Essentials
1. sleep
2. mobile

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. pj pants
2. mark's white tee shirt

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists
1. missy higgins
2. meatloaf

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. surfing eBay
2. watching reruns of sex and the city

Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. more money
2. to sell this house

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. fiji
2. paris

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. build a metricon home and fill it with entirely new furniture (this is my new thing)
2. write a book

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now
1. writing a book
2. doing some homework

Two Stores You Shop At
1. safers (safeway)
2. myer (go the 75% off the already marked down price racks)

Two people you haven't talked to in a while
1. jae
2. joey

Two favorite web sites
1. ebay.com.au
2. hotmail.com

Two Favorite Sports
1. netball
2. afl

Two People who will fill this out
1. eh
2. meh

Two things you did last night
1. watched love actually.
2. had a headache

Two shows you like to watch
1. what not to wear
2. americas next top model

Two places you like to go to:
1. mcg
2. safeway

Two Favorite Subjects In School:
1. maths
2. english

Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. the esplanade
2. wharfshed

Two People that live in your house:
1. mum
2. gi

Two things you like about yourself (physical):
1. hands
2. hair (texture not cut atm)

Two things you ate today:
1. a scone with jam
2. thats all i've eaten.

Two people you last talked to:
1. mark
2. jimmy

Two Things You're doing tomorrow:
1. going to uni
2. tutoring
Friday, April 28th, 2006
2:33 pm
i want to get my hair cut but i have absolutely no money. was thinking of going to that just cuts place and getting it cut there. it only costs about $21 for a complete style change. not the best place but i mightn't have a choice. i got my hair cut once there. the lady was super nice. i think she was just excited to get someone who wasn't male or under 5.

might look into it.
Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
12:29 pm
"i'm a soul motha, shudda worn a rubba now my son ain't got no fatha..."

good times.

I did that assignment. I ended up thinking it was pretty hot actually. Not too shabby. Hmmm.. lets just wait to see what i get for it before i get too excited.

It's anzac day and i usually march with my pa but i've been sick since saturday and there is no way i want to go out of the house this morning. feel shitty. i'm on antibiotics now for a bacterial chest infection. i've been having heaps of tests for this other sickness i've been having for the last couple of months now. i had to have a blood test, which i'm usually absolutely fine with, but i have these two huge bruises on my arm. i never bruise. i think the lady was far too rough. they don't hurt- they just look impressive. and i had to provide a stool sample. hmmph. don't ever, ever jump at the opportunity to do that, i'm telling you. eeek.

have to go to the doctors and get the results of them tomorrow. if nothing shows up, i have to have a ultrasound. meh. hope something shows up.

dad's just been diagnosed with diabetes. he seems okay but its not the best news in the world. he's going on a special diet and these pills and yada. he should be okay but he just has to manage it very closely.

netball tonight but i'm not playing. obviously. i'm out of breathe getting up for a glass of water muchless playing a games of netball.

am *hopefully* meeting up with jae and jo for din dins on saturday night and then out to bended elbow with jules and caity. i'm a bit disappointed though. I haven't seen them in months and i'd like to have a nice dinner with them and sit down and have a really good chat and see what they've been up to etc but jules says to me "i don't really want to do the dinner thing because i want to save my money for drinkey poos" and i was just kinda disappointed with that. not cross at jules or anything, but i would have liked to have spent a bit more quality to with her. thats all. oh well. i am equally, if not more, excited at the prospect of meeting up with jae and jo for dinner. it will be very noice.

on a different yet somewhat relevant topic- i can't belive they closed down tony's.

i'm going to cough.

xo
Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
7:51 pm
Melbourne won today so i am a lot happier now.

I'm watching big brother. I'm not sure if i want to watch it thought but i probably will but meh.

Everyone on big brother is coming on like "I'm a chronic cheater. I've cheated on everyone I've been with". Who are these people? Since when is being unfaithful a thing to be proud of? Who goes on national television and stands up and says that? I'm not passing judgement on anyone who cheats but when has it been cool to put do much hurt and upset on another person and be proud of it.

This show shits me. Probably won't watch it...




Actually prolly will.
Thursday, April 20th, 2006
9:42 am
Just because I've decided to do this stupid arse assignment for Criminal Law. We'll see how it goes. I'm going to take Jae's option and just not hand it in if it turns out to be really shitty. Chance fo that? Very high.

Went to look at a house with dad yesterday. He rents his house in Point Lonsdale but it has recently been put on the market by the owner so it is only a matter of time before he is forced to move out because it is sold. He's such a child. He's constantly like "I don't want to move out, can't be bothered". It'd taken me some time to convince him that he mightn't actually have a choice in the matter. This house in Potrarlington is beautiful. It's for rent- $250 a week- It is double storey and has complete glass frontage. Down stairs has a big lounge with polished floorboards, full bathroom, seperate toilet, cupboard under the stairs and two bedrooms. Upstairs is a gorgeous modern kitchen, another full bathroom, master bedroom, dinning and lounge. It has this huge massive deck as well. The beautiful thing is that the whole house has the most gorgeous views- even downstiars- cause it is on a hill and the who plae is windows. You can see right to Melbourne and the You Yangs and just 180 degrees water. It's really special. He moves into it on the 19th May. Can't wait.

Damn Melbourne. They are getting me down later. It's not hard to win, even just one, fucking game of football!!! Bah, will go and watch the Sydney game on tele with dad on Sunday arvo. Should be smashing. Am going shocking in footy tips this year. Bah!

Better head off and do this assignment!
Monday, April 17th, 2006
11:30 pm
it's as blue as your blue goodbye
so I never write in here.

some people have made it clear that don't appreciate this about me.

I guess i'm just different. I don't really know what to write. It also appears that sometimes I write the wrong thing although I didn't know there were rules. I don't express myself easy with a pen (or keyboard).

I've been thinking about why our group broke up. And I don't know why. I think that Jo hit the nail on the head from my perspective anyway- I wasn't friends with some of the people in the group. I'm not going to name names but I think some people know who those other people were.

It wasn't that I didn't like them- they were all great girls- I just struggled to find something in common with a some of them. In fact, my only in common was school and that disintegrated when we left so we then had nothing in common. C'est la vie. I miss Jae and Jo though. I'm not 100% sure where I stand with them though. I never go out with people because I have so much going on with my life that I have no time for a social life. In fact, my only social outing is to netball with Roz and the crew. Money is a factor too. As is time and energy. I'm devoting all my spare time at the moment between my uni and business work. It's all too much.

I'm such a different person than I was a year ago as well. I'm heaps different. I can't define the ways. I just am.

Mum's been back in hospital recently. her stay got extended from 4 days to 3 weeks. We thought Pa was going to die recently too. He had pulmonary (sp?) embelysms (sp?) in his lungs. Like blood clots. He spent weeks in hopsital but he's okay now. Hmmm.. it's been tough. But I hope things look up.

Am staying at the Rialto with Mark tomorrow night. WE're going to the comedy fest as well. My first social event in months. Can't wait. Will leave me broke but whats money without champagne!

somebody has prankde me 3 times and its almost minute. on my home phone.

"the call is coming from inside the house"

i hope not!
Wednesday, March 8th, 2006
10:35 pm
Time goes by, so slowly
i've got so many things going through my mind that i can't go to sleep.

Rubes is asleep in her bed on my bed.

I wish a was a cat. Just eat, drink and sleep. And roam. Then sleep.

I'm so tired lately. Just physically. SImply rooted. Not in a sexual sense, though (wouldn't that be nice).

There's so many decisions to make. I wish I could see alternative endings to my life and then pick the one I like. I remember a book like that back in the day called "cool school". You got to pick which path you'd take and you turn to page 67 if you think this or page 34 if you think that. You were usually screwed though. Ah, maybe I should've taken that book as a hint.

Business is starting to get too much for me. Maybe I should get an ABN but I'm not sure if that would complicate things too much. But I'd have tax deductions coming from everywhere. Might have to leave Safeway which I've wanted to do for so long but haven't had the guts. Maybe with business picking up I can leave but if business slows i'll be up shit creek. Might have to take the risk. I have a Repetitive Strain Injury from working there and may be able to get compensation says my union. Might investigate that.



I think the science block at uni has dead people in it because it smells. Most of my lectures are in there.






Great.
Wednesday, January 4th, 2006
2:52 pm
fake it baby they won't even know
THERE ARE TWO QUESTIONS I ANSWERED INCORRECTLY

[ ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes most of the time
[ ] I have many scars.
[x] I tan easily.
[x] wish my hair was a different color.
[x] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] I have/I've had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[x] I have more than 2 piercings.
[x] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.


Family/Home Life

[x] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[ ] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.


School/Work

[ ] I'm in school.
[x] I have a job.
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[x} I almost always do my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[ ] I've stolen something from my job
[ ] I've been fired.
[x] I've skipped school/Class


Embarrassment

[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[x] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[ ] I've glued my hand to something
[x] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[ ] I've had my pants rip in public

Health

[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[x] I've gotten stitches.
[x] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[x] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.


Traveling

[ ] I've riden over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[x] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.
[x] I've been to Asia.


Experiences

[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a shooting star.
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[ ] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[x] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[x] I've been an abuse victim.
[x] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been Skiing
[x] I've been in a play.
[ ] I've met someone in person from the internet.
[ ] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
[x] I've eaten Sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships

[ ] I'm single
[x] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've had someone cheat on me.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I have a fear of commitment.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've cheated in a relationship
[ ] I've gotten divorced
[ ] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[ ] I've kept something from a past relationship.


Sexuality

[x] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I love to flirt.
[x] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[x] I have kissed a stranger.

Honesty/Crime

[x] I am a terrible liar.
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[X] I am keeping a secret from the world
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[ ] I've shoplifted

Drugs/Alcohol

[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[x] I've smoked weed
[x] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I'm a stoner.
[ ] I've snorted cocaine.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[x] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[ ] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[ ] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[ ] I'm addicted to self harm.
[ ] I've woken up crying.
[x] I've cried myself to sleep.
[x was.] Seeing a therapist.


Death and Suicide

[i'm more afraid of how i am going to die than the death itself] I'm afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[x] I've seen someone dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[ ] I've planned my own suicide.
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism

[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[x] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[ ] I own something from The Gap.
[x] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.
[ ] I own something from Hollister Co.


Political/Social Attitudes

[ ] In general, I don't like people.
[x] I'm a feminist.
[x] I'm outgoing.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[ ] I'm Democratic.
[ ] I'm Republican.
[x] I'm liberal.
[x] I don't like Bush
[x] I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
[ ] I am for Bush.
[x] im religious.
[ ] I dress fairly modestly.
[ ] My attitude is, "If you've got it, flaunt it."


Random

[ ] I can sing well
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[x i don't so i click it right? its kinda a double negative] I don't kill bugs.
[x avril lavigne] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[x] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[x] I'm a snob about grammar
[x] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I twirl my hair
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name
[x] I love being neat
[ ] I love Spam
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[x] I bake well.
[x] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
[x]I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun.
[xxx] I am in love with love.
[ over my dead arse ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[x] I eat fast food weekly.
[x sorta. i'm scared of them but not sure i believe] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[X] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I love white chocolate
[ ] I bite my nails.
[ ] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering faces.
[ ] I'm good at remembering names
[ ] I'm good at remembering dates.
[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

[ sorry folks. there are two questions i answered incorrectly] My answers are totally honest
Sunday, January 1st, 2006
7:18 pm
this one's a good one
Name 20 of your friends (randomly):
1. jae a
2. jo
3. julia
4. caity
5. dean
6. markee
7. belinda
8. roz
9. jo w
10. mitch
11. courtney
12. po
13. meagan
14. jimmy
15. hannah
16. cass xo
17. paddy
18. shqipe
19. soph
20. bliss

-Who is #8 going out with? was going out with stu but, alas, no.
-Is #9 a boy or a girl? girl
-Would #11 and #2 make a cute couple? well they are both girls. jo- do you want to go out with barnsey?.
-How about #18 and #4? hmmmmmm no not quite
-What grade is #17 in? working and at uni
-When was the last time you talked to #12? ages and ages ago. but we're have a relationship with eachother where it doesn't matter how long its been its always the same..
-What is #6's favorite band? not sure. he's super eclectic.
-Does #1 have any siblings? DarC'e
-Would you ever date #3? if i were a boy - hell yes.
-Would you ever date #7? no
-Is #16 single? indeed
-What's #15's last name? garby
-What's #10's middle name? thomas
-What's #5's favorite thing to do? play on the computer
-Is #13 hot? i don't see it.
-Would #14 and #19 make a good couple? OMG!!!! YES they would. THANKS QUIZ!!! never seen it before. sorry jae a. you're far too good and smart for him any ways.
-What school does #20 go to? she's at deakin
-Tell me a random fact about #11? we've been seat buddies all through school. we always got in the same grade and sat next to eachother so many times by teahcers orders. we loved it!
-And #3?- the smartest dumb person i know. i <3.
-Have you ever had a crush on #15? neither of us are les.
-What's #4's favorite color? green?
-Would you make out with #14? no. not my type.
-Does #7 like #20? don't know eachother.
-Does #8 like #19? don't know eachother.
-How did you meet #2? at school.
-How did you meet #18? at school.
-Is #12 older than you? yep by a year.
-Have oral relations with #3? relations meaning sex or conversations? sex - nope. convo - indeed.
-Does #2 have any cute siblings? only child..
-What about #16? haven't met them.
Monday, December 19th, 2005
10:29 pm
for those of you playing at home, i hardly ever update my journal but i read everyone elses almost everyday. meh, i just don't have much to say...

some things really annoy me. i've been hanging round with mark's two friends dean and mitch. some may remember them from tony's for jaya and mine's 19th birthday dinner. they always say stupid things. maybe its cause they are boys, or maybe that is a generalisation , but they think speeding is like sooo cool. dean's like "oh yeah, going 60 round a round about is so cool" and "what's the fastest you've done in your car? i've got mine at least to 180 on this stretch easy". maybe its cause my uncle died in a high speed conllision by getting wrapped around a pole that is the reason i am against speeding. or perhaps its just because its fucking stupid. i don't like to be a prude and going a little bit over- yeah i'll go a few ks over if i'm in a hurry. but the thing my driving instructor taught me that really stuck is that when driving you are operating a deadly weapon that kills more people per annum than any gun or knife every will. extreme? yes. true? yes. it just shits me. going 180 is not cool. it never will be and i wish they would stop kiddingt hemselves. they tell me cause i'll be like "oh my god, that's awesome- you are so brave" but i don't. i say "you're a fuck". literally, and they don't like it.

i love that new james blunt song "goodbye my lover". makes me cry. i think of an elderly man playing it at the funeral of his wife. like my pa could have played it at my nan's funeral. most of the words fit/ its just beautiful.

wasabi is at number 1. in my humble opinion i think the song sucks. just my thoughts.

almost finished christmas shopping. am going to *hopefully* finish it off tomorrow. meep. let's hope.

i love christmas time. so warm and cosy and lovey. i love this time of year.

i hate my new job and hate my manager. am thinking of quiting but have to have somewhere to go first. and since julie and james still don't want me, may have to look elsewhere.




P.S. I still love Mark more than my luggage.

xo
Monday, November 28th, 2005
8:07 am
Protected
1. Nervous Habits: shaking.
2. Are you double jointed: there's no such thing as double jointed, you can be flexible but no one has two joints where you should only have one.
3. Can you roll your tongue: yeah
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time: yeah. but im shit at it.
5. Can you blow spit bubbles: dunno
6. Can you cross your eyes: nah.
7. Tattoos: none. i want one but mark won't approve.
8. Piercings: 5
9. Do you make your bed daily: ya

-- CLOTHES --
10. Which shoe goes on first: right usually. i think.
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone: yeah :S.
12. On the average, how much money do you carry: bout nothing. i never have cash on me.
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7: one ring and my earrings..
14. Favorite piece of clothing: trackie dacks..

-- FOOD --
15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it: twirl baby ;-)
16. Have you ever eaten Spam: no and nothing has ever enticed me to pursue it.
18. How many cereals in your cabinet: dunno.
19. What's your favorite beverage: water.
20. What's your favorite restaurant: not sure. prolyl wharfshed.
21. Do you cook: yeah sorta.

-- GROOMING --
22. How often do you brush your teeth: as often as i remember. which is usually twice a day.
23. Hair drying method: wash it, and go to sleep.
24. Have you ever colored / highlighted your hair: shit yeah

-- MANNERS --
25. Do you swear: yep
26. Do you ever spit: no i think its feral.

-- FAVORITE --
27. Animal: WOOOBBEEE
28. Food: dunno
29. Month: december. i really really love christmas
30. Day: whenever i'm not at work
31. Cartoon: mulan
32. Shoe Brand: not sure.
33. Subject in school: maths
34. Color: pink.
35. Sport: footy.
36. TV show: will and grace?.
37. Thing to do in the spring: nothing different to any other season man.
38. Thing to do in the summer: as above
39. Thing to do in the fall: and again.
40. Thing to do in the winter: is this quiz retarted?

-- IN AND AROUND --
41. In the CD player: destiny's child <<<< is it the number one... one..? i really want that CD
42. Person you talk most on the phone with: mark
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store window mirrors: yup
45. What color is your bedroom: white- boring/? no. its white. not creamy white- really crisp white- newly painted.
46. Do you use an alarm clock: yeah when i have to get up at a specific time.
47. Window seat or aisle: window.

-- LA LA LAND --
48. What's your sleeping position: on my side.
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket: a sheet.
50. Do you snore: i spose.
51. Do you sleepwalk: nope.
52. Do you talk in your sleep: no
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals: no but ruby sleeps with me.
54. How about with the light on: nup. there's one not far from my room, over the stairs but not one in my room. make sense? <<<<< me too
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on: no.
56. Last interesting person you met: not sure
57. Last cigarette: never had one
58. Last kiss: mark. boring. :P
59. Last crush: as above.
60. Last phone call: dwayne.
61. Last sexual encounter: last night. this is a rather personal quiz.
62. Best Friends? don't have one. a mix of jae, jo, julia and caity but it depends on the day as to whether they'd reciprocate :P.
63. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend: yeah
64. Do you do drugs: nope.
65. Do you have sex? yes
66. Favorite Movie: not sure.
67. Ever Made yourself throw-up: yep
68. Ever Skinny dipped: heaps of times. good to get some water in your clack. :P

69.One year ago, I:
1. had graduated from school
2. was going on holiday to the gold coast
3. was only 18

70.ABC's
A - age : 19
B - band listening to right now: none
C - crush: mark
D - dad's name : kevin
E - easiest person to talk to: mark.
F - favorite band at the moment : not sure
G - gummy bears or gummy worms : neither
H - hometown : point lonsdale, vic, australia
I - instruments u can play: paino, sax-a-ma-phone, clarinet
K - kids: none.
L - longest car ride ever: sydney methinks.
M - mom's name : kate
N - number of siblings : 2.
O - one wish : go back to grade 6 and save my nana then my other nana then my parents..
P - pet peeve[s] : men.
Q - favorite quote: "kids, you tried and failed. the lesson is- never try" so true. it went something like that.
R - biggest rival: don't have one.
S - song you sang last : doe4s "oh ah glenn mcgrath" count?.
T - time you wake up : depends.
U - unknown fact about me : whatev
V - vegetable you hate : cauliflower.
W - worst habit(s): shaking.
X - x-rays you've had : teeth, wrist, foot, tummy <<<--- mums a radiographer.
Y - yummy food : nachos.
Z - zodiac sign : leo
Monday, November 14th, 2005
6:52 pm
i thought about jae twice in about 12 hours... both because i heard tainted love. everytime i hear it i actually say outloud "JAE!" and everyone thinks i'm a dick. actually, maybe there are other reaons people think i am a dick. hmmm.. food for though. once was on australian idol- of which leee did i great job i thought- and the other was on friends series 10 when danny devito plays a 50 year old stripper for phoebe's bachelorette party. hehehehe. danny devito.. hahahaha.

nothing much is happening with me. i think i am alergic to thrip (sp?). they are everywhere. they attacked the washing that i was bringing in. then they got in my hair and now my scalp intches. and i think they are crawling in my ears. and on my back. grrr.

i think i drink gin and tonic now. i want to drink martinis on the rocks but i've never actually had a martini. but i need a drink of choice. at the moment its a gin and tonic but i fear that its little old lady-ish. it used to be tequilla sunrises. bah.
Thursday, November 10th, 2005
9:19 am
jae- i was just going through all my old emails and do you remember that we wanted to have our own tv show. and heathcliffe were going to be on it?? i didn't but this brought it all back.. something like "the birthday buddies" or something similar.


ahhh... good times.

xo
Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
9:57 am
my lifelong dream has come true...


I have been called up for jury duty!!!

this is so exciting. see, i only have the space of 5 years where it would be possible because as soon as i am admitted into the legal practise then i become ineligible.

oh, this is so exciting. i thought it would never happen!

meep. i better get picked. they send a notice out. you have to fill in a questionnaire. that determines whether you are elibigle. i am eligible. then you have to go the courts and they pick out the people they want.


ohhhh please want me.

if the trial goes for a long time, they have to put the jurors into seclusion. at a hotel. til they make up there mind.

i want to stay at the sheraton!


how great is this going to be.... please pick me...
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